it’s honestly quite difficult for me to take in that you’re gone. It was exactly a year ago when we visited you. I remember barging into your room to surprise you. I remember waking you were just sitting on your computer- you looked so happy to see me since we havent seen each other in months. I remember you letting me lay on your bed just to take a nap, i remember that many times. I remember drinking plum wine with you which later on became my favorite wine. I remember the soup that you taught me to make. I remember that ridiculous bear hat that you always had with the paws. These were little things and i didnt know would mean to much. I just really miss you and your random hello’s and text messages. i really cant believe youre gone. this is hurting me so much more than im showing people.
i just expected you to be waiting at the party house upstairs, playing your immogen heap. i’ll write about you until i move on. i wont try to forget anything, i just need to let go.
